What To Do Instead of Spanking or Punishment

When you make the wise decision to quit spanking, it doesn’t take long before the questions arise.  “What am I going to do instead of spanking?  I can’t just let my child get away with murder.  I don’t want to be a permissive parent.  What if my child grows up to be a criminal?” 

These are totally normal thoughts.  Without a doubt, you have to have a mindset change when you switch from practicing punishment to using connection instead.  You now take the time to teach the desired behavior instead of inflicting suffering for the wrong behavior.

The goal is to raise children who do what is right because it is the right thing to do NOT because they are afraid of getting hit or receiving any punishment for that matter.  Think about it.  What good is that for your child short term or long term?

The first belief that you must accept and own is that parenting is just as much if not more about your behavior than your child’s behavior.  It is about your self-control and how you do life. 

Children will be children no matter what.  They go through developmental stages and they test the boundaries every step of the way.  Your job is to model the self-control of navigating life within the boundaries.  To do this well, self-care and connection with your child have to be priorities.



This article informs parents on alternatives to use instead of spanking and punishment. Focus on self-care and connection is key. Use natural and logical consequences instead. This guide is priceless. #stopspanking #positiveparenting #alternativestopunishment #consequencesforchildren #toddlers #preschoolers #teenagers


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21 MORE Ways to Say I Love You to Your Child by Showing It

This -N- That Parenting has a mission to effectively develop intentional parents who will change the world one child at a time.  Psychiatrist, Dr. Charles Raison said, “One generation of deeply loving parents would change the brains of the next generation, and with that, the world.”  With that in mind, I wanted to provide parents with a way to say I Love You to your child through your actions.

By all means, I do not want you to run out of ideas on how to show love to your child!  It is easy to run out of new ways to spark the love energy.  Without a doubt, life gets loud and we get into a rut.  We keep doing the same things day in and day out.  Here you will find 21 Ways to Say I Love You to Your Child.

Without a doubt, aim for telling your child and showing your child that you love them as many times as possible in a day.  When a child knows that a parent loves them without a doubt, it builds courage that the child would not have otherwise.  Ultimately, you’re letting your child know you have their best interest in mind.  You are setting a foundation for their future relationships.  Ideally, these gestures will be used for generations to come.

On a positive note, adding new ideas and new energy can bring a new zeal to things.  That’s what the 21 more ideas are meant for.  They are meant to get Read the rest

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An Introduction to the Blog: Welcome to This-N-That Parenting


Today is my first blog post, and I am super excited because this is something that has been swirling around in my head and prayed about for several years now.  My purpose for creating this blog is to connect with other parents who want the most for their children. We have a strong sense of urgency to “get it right” but aren’t always sure what the best practices are to create these results.

There are some things that my parents did that I want to do the same. There are some things that I want to do differently.  Of course, the “differently” is the hard part because there are so many voices out there telling us what’s best for children and how to raise children. It is easy to become overwhelmed in less than 10 minutes of Googling.  I know I have and do, and I want to help relieve some of the anxiety.  I too want to be the best I can be as a parent and fulfill my calling as a parent to the best of my ability.

After becoming a parent, I QUICKLY realized that I needed professional development in parenting just like I did in my profession.  While teaching, I always tried to read as much as possible to be the best teacher I could possibly be and attend the most courses my schedule could hold.  I have done the same as a parent.  The hours (I have trouble sleeping) I have spent researching and

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