What To Do Instead of Spanking or Punishment

When you make the wise decision to quit spanking, it doesn’t take long before the questions arise.  “What am I going to do instead of spanking?  I can’t just let my child get away with murder.  I don’t want to be a permissive parent.  What if my child grows up to be a criminal?” 

These are totally normal thoughts.  Without a doubt, you have to have a mindset change when you switch from practicing punishment to using connection instead.  You now take the time to teach the desired behavior instead of inflicting suffering for the wrong behavior.

The goal is to raise children who do what is right because it is the right thing to do NOT because they are afraid of getting hit or receiving any punishment for that matter.  Think about it.  What good is that for your child short term or long term?

The first belief that you must accept and own is that parenting is just as much if not more about your behavior than your child’s behavior.  It is about your self-control and how you do life. 

Children will be children no matter what.  They go through developmental stages and they test the boundaries every step of the way.  Your job is to model the self-control of navigating life within the boundaries.  To do this well, self-care and connection with your child have to be priorities.

 

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This article informs parents on alternatives to use instead of spanking and punishment. Focus on self-care and connection is key. Use natural and logical consequences instead. This guide is priceless. #stopspanking #positiveparenting #alternativestopunishment #consequencesforchildren #toddlers #preschoolers #teenagers

Self-Care

In order to be the best version of yourself, you have to be taking care of Read the rest

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To Spank or Not to Spank? The Decision We Made and How We Made It

My Roots in Spanking

Spanking has always been something that I accepted as a way to raise a kid because that’s what the people I grew up around did.  It’s just the way it was. My aunts and uncles spanked our cousins. The public school I attended gave “pops”.  Most people in our community thought nothing of it. 

“He needs his a**whooped”, was common to hear amongst parents from our community. Sometimes that statement was milder, sometimes it was harsher, but it was the norm.  Parents took off their belt and popped it, asking, “Who wants it first?”  You knew to straighten up or else. Few questioned: To Spank or Not to Spank? in my life.

A Friend’s Story

I remember in high school, my best friend told me her parents never spanked her.  I made a big deal about it at the lunch table, and I shared what she told me.  No one could believe it.  We wanted to know how she got punished. 

Later,  I even asked her parents about it.  Her mom said they spanked their other children some, but by the time their last child came, they found it unnecessary. She turned out just as good as the rest of us who got spanked. I share this story because I cringe at how big of a deal I made that they had never hit her.

I Question Spanking

The older I got, the more I started to question it.  I went back and forth.  I would Read the rest

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