Quitting spanking is possible. How often you spank your child, the reasons for which you spank, whether your parents spanked you and how entrenched your belief system and self-talk is in spanking are some determining factors for the level of difficulty you will have with stopping spanking. Whatever it takes for you to stop spanking, I urge you to do the work. Surprisingly, when I share how to stop spanking your child, you’ll find that spanking is not about your child but about your own self-control.
Are you up for the challenge?
Dictionaries define spanking as hitting, striking, and smacking. Sit with yourself for a bit and think back to the times you hit your child. I truly believe while you reflect, a piece of you feels something isn’t right about your actions.
Research shows spanking has multiple long-term negative effects that are not worth the short-term fix that spanking gives. If you are unaware of the effects spanking can have on your child, I encourage you to read 10 Reasons to Stop Spanking That Are Backed By Research.
After deciding to quit spanking, it took my husband and me 3 months to stop. It floored me it took this long. After a while, it literally scared me. The awareness of the fact that I could not go cold turkey on this spanking deal, made me realize how much self-control I lacked in the area. While surveying other parents who stopped spanking, they had the same experience. Just know, … Read the rest
Were you spanked as a child? Do you spank your child? Afterward, do you feel guilty and wonder if there could be a better way to discipline your child rather than hitting? Maybe your family and friends have told you the guilt is normal, and it hurts you to spank more than it hurts your child. Maybe the culture or church you grew up in believes in spanking? However, there’s something in your gut telling you spanking isn’t right.
Rewrite Your Family Legacy
Whatever your case, if your answer to any of these questions is yes, I want to share some moral reasons and research-based reasons you should quit spanking your child. The way your family did things does not have to be the way you do things. You can stop the cycle.
Ultimately, you decide what you believe to be right for your family. I encourage you to make an educated decision not solely based on opinion. You can change your family’s legacy from spanking to one of problem-solving. Essentially, you will strengthen the emotional health of your family.
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Spanking Is Controversial
Spanking is a controversial topic. I’m not here to argue or tell you what to do. I’m here on behalf of your child to ask you to read this article with an open mind. My job is to deliver the facts that research and child development prove. If you continue spanking your child, no judgment against you. I believe that … Read the rest
My Roots in Spanking
Spanking has always been something that I accepted as a way to raise a kid because that’s what the people I grew up around did. It’s just the way it was. My aunts and uncles spanked our cousins. The public school I attended gave “pops”. Most people in our community thought nothing of it.
“He needs his a**whooped”, was common to hear amongst parents from our community. Sometimes that statement was milder, sometimes it was harsher, but it was the norm. Parents took off their belt and popped it, asking, “Who wants it first?” You knew to straighten up or else. Few questioned: To Spank or Not to Spank? in my life.
A Friend’s Story
I remember in high school, my best friend told me her parents never spanked her. I made a big deal about it at the lunch table, and I shared what she told me. No one could believe it. We wanted to know how she got punished.
Later, I even asked her parents about it. Her mom said they spanked their other children some, but by the time their last child came, they found it unnecessary. She turned out just as good as the rest of us who got spanked. I share this story because I cringe at how big of a deal I made that they had never hit her.
I Question Spanking
The older I got, the more I started to question it. I went back and forth. I would … Read the rest